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Indigo Chapters Ereader

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Tags: ebook, ebooks, ereader, indigo chapters, indigo chapters ereader, mobile, reading

Categories: Ebook Reader Devices

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One Response

1. 

   Super F+ Student:

   I'll be honest, your style is kind of blah. I should want to care about the protagonist, but I really don't. The conversation between him and the king seemed superficial, like there was no depth to it. Your descriptions could use some tweaking, too. Instead of: "As the three red scaly beasts with the shape of a Tyrannosaurus Rex and horns all over their bodies jumped out", try "Suddenly, three enormous creatures leapt from the cover of the bushes, and landed heavily in front of the knights. Sunlight glinted off of crimson scales, as the reptilian monsters snarled menacingly at the two men. One stepped forward, spikes erupting from its body, and gave a mighty war cry that rattled the knight's bones." See?

   Also, your names need to be changed. 'Sauron' is the evil sorcerer in the Lord of the Rings, and even without that, still sounds like a sinister name, too sinister for a hero. I also don't like 'Kang' very much, it sounds plodding and apelike.

   Anyway, hope I helped. Keep writing.

   19.12.2010 07:40